Communicating Needs

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Holographic Repatterning Sessions^® for Connecting with Compassion

Mirror 5: Communicating Needs

Un-met needs ...

In his book Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles, Harville Hendrix brings forth the idea that each of us seeks the ideal partner for highlighting our un-met needs, and that the role of a union based on love is to heal the wounds created from our un-met needs. The initial high of love is the aphrodisiac to blind us from the nightmare about to unfold. Yet, when this nightmare hits, it is time for celebration, as the real benefit of the connection is about to begin.

At his time, about the last thing we may be wanting to do is reveal our deep needs -- yet this is exactly where the healing takes place. Doing this requires that we first communicate our needs in a way that facilitates that happening. All too often, though, our past has taught us that our needs will not be met, and the original, unhealed wound perpetuates this reality, so that we recreate and re-enforce the original pattern again and again, fulfilling the prophecy that the need will not be met.

In this session, we will look at the present needs that are not being met, identify how they are currently impacting us physically, explore the earlier experience which underlies our current situation, and determine how we currently express our needs and how that can be shifted to allow us to communicate our needs in a way that facilitates greater connection and compassion.

When we connect with another in entrainment and resonance, our only desire is to maintain that feeling of love and happiness at any cost. When conflict occurs, the desire is to return to a natural state of harmony and connection.

Without the tools for re-establishing a compassionate connection with entrainment and resonance, we either settle for maintaining surface harmony by submission, suppression and denial of our needs, or quarrel and fight in a futile attempt to get the needs met.

With the ability to communicate our needs without re-living the hurts from the past, we can create new possibilities for communicating what we need, rather than being driven by our unconscious patterns developed when our needs were not met, and connect with compassion.

Your Unmet Needs ...

Intentions and Possibilities

What need of yours would you like to have met? This could be as simple as having your partner routinely take out the garbage, pick up the kids, or have dinner on time. Or it could be an emotional or relationship need that you are feeling.

As with all interactive areas in the series, you are welcome to submit statements which reflect your personal experience. When the session is being done, those statements which accurately reflect the energy of the group will be used anonymously, allowing us all to shift to greater harmony and unification.

Challenges and Growth Opportunities

	What is your feeling response to your need not being met? ie anger, fear, sadness, guilt, shame, despair?
	What is your behavioral response to your need not being met? ie suppression, passive aggression, aggression?
	What is your verbal response to your need not being met? Do you say something to either yourself or your partner which perpetuates the cycle of the need not being communicated effectively and met?

Communicating with Honesty, Openness, and Clarity

Intentions and Possibilities

	In the present situation, with whom do you want to communicate your needs?
	If you were assured that your needs would be met, what would you ask for?
	What do you need that would allow you to feel nurtured and lovable in the present situation?

Challenges and Growth Opportunities

	What negative thing are you afraid will happen if you communicate your need?
	What has happened to you in the past when you have communicated this need?
	What prevents you from opening yourself up and telling your partner exactly what you need?

Holographic Repatterning® by Chloe Faith Wordsworth

Updated 02/17/2009